The Evolution Of A Relationship
by the.mind.hunter
Summary: Multiple acts chronicling the evolution of the relationship between JJ and Emily.
1. Chapter 1

When You Were Young

Disclaimer: i don't own Criminal Minds or The Killer's song - When You Were Young - just borrowing

_"You sit there in your heartache…Waiting on some beautiful boy to…Save you from your old ways…You play forgiveness…Watch it now…Here he comes!"_

You grew up in East Alleghany County, Pennsylvania. It was a small town, so small in fact, that your only way out was a sports scholarship. And god, did you want out. So you got out, saved by your determination and drive – your need to be something bigger than yourself. You joined the FBI. The Behavioral Analysis Unit to be exact, a Unit in which you specialized in talking to people, talking to the victims and the families of the victims. And you loved it. Until…

Being in the FBI had its drawbacks, of course, just like any other job. You found little time for yourself, a social life, one in which you could get a date, let alone find someone worth the time was limited. And after what you saw everyday, sometimes that's really all you wanted when you got home.

You waited, you knew when the moment was right, your Prince Charming would come.

_"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus…But he talks like a gentleman…Like you imagined when you were young…"_

Then you met Emily Prentiss. She wasn't exactly a Prince Charming, but she was certainly your Knight in Shining Armor, and on more than one occasion you found yourself outside her door looking for comfort and safety. And she was always there for you, you couldn't have asked for a better friend.

_"Can we climb this mountain…I don't know…Higher now than ever before…I know we can make it if we take it slow…Let's take it easy…Easy now, watch it go…"_

And then something changed. Something about your relationship with her shifted, morphed, it evolved. You know longer went to Emily for just comfort and safety, you went to her because she felt good. Like home.

This confused you, troubled you, but you ignored this uneasy feeling because you still felt good when you were with her. It was only when she wasn't in your presence that you felt that way anyways. And you two were always together, you remember Morgan commenting on how you two were "attached at the hip" all the time. You didn't think much of it then, but Emily had blushed and turned away. You should've known then.

_"We're burning down the highway skyline…On the back of a hurricane that started turning…When you were young…When you were young…"_

It was the case in New Orleans that brought everything crashing down around you. The lead Detective on the case was one William LaMontague. He was charming, sweet and obviously interested in having much more than a professional relationship with you. And you were lonely so it was okay to let him try. It was only after the relationship was well established that you realized something had changed in Emily.

The team noticed it too, so when Hotch asked you if you knew what was wrong with Emily, you realized you weren't so close to her anymore and you didn't know. You saw Morgan's face over Hotch's shoulder, it didn't register confusion like you thought, but more a quiet acceptance of the situation. You wondered what he knew that you didn't.

_"And sometimes you close your eyes…And see the place where you used to live…When you were young…"_

And then you found out you were pregnant. And Will asked you to marry him. Your mother called the other day; she can't wait to meet Will. You sighed internally; it was all pilling up too much, too fast. You rested your head in your hands, rubbing your temples as you closed your eyes.

You saw flashes of your life – graduating from college, joining the Bureau, meeting the team, the fallout of Elle, Gideon leaving, Emily showing up, feeling things you had never felt before for a woman, losing Reid, the dogs, Emily being there for you, meeting Will, finding out your pregnant, saying yes to his proposal…

You wished you could go back.

_"They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet…You don't have to drink right now…But you can dip your feet…Every once in a little while…"_

You couldn't stand it anymore. It was breaking your heart to break Emily's like you were. It was your fault; you were scared and ran away. You had to fix this and you knew it was up to you to do so; Emily would never confront you about this.

So you decide to corner her, trap her somewhere the two of you could talk in private. A call to your office about a nonsense file would do the trick. She fell for it.

She knocked before entering, holding out the file in her hand as she cracked open the door slightly, "Hey JJ? I found that file you –"

You had to act fast; you grabbed her arm, yanking her into the office, cutting her off mind-sentence. You hastily decided to do the one thing you should've done, months – no years – ago. You pulled Emily close, your lips finding hers just as soft and as warm as you had dreamt they would be. You heard the file flop to the floor, Emily pushing you further into the office as she kicked the door closed with her foot. You two stumbled over to the couch in the corner of your office, both of you struggling for dominance, you winning over as your hand slid up her shirt, startling her with the sudden touch.

Forcing her down on the couch, you straddled her lap, her hands steadying themselves in your hips, just where your button down shirt had ridden up exposing your skin. You shivered at the feel of her slightly calloused hands sliding up your shirt…

_"You sit there in your heartache…Waiting on some beautiful boy to…To save you from your old ways…You play forgiveness…Watch it now here he comes…"_

You didn't know what to say to Emily after that day, but you knew you had to speak to her sometime. She was your coworker after all and you couldn't avoid her forever. And that old file ruse wouldn't work this time. So you childishly followed her to the bathroom, waiting for her by the sink. She gasped when she saw you leaning there, other than that she didn't acknowledge your presence as she washed her hands, turning her back to you as she dried them.

"Emily." You whispered, when she still didn't look at you.

You heard her sigh, "What do you want JJ…?"

Now it was your turn to sigh, "I want you to look at me…I want to talk to you."

She turned to you, "Talk? About what? About how you're still gonna marry that crawfish lovin', mumblin' goon? Or how about the other night? When you came so hard in my hands that you passed out? What JJ? What do you wanna talk about?"

Shocked, you couldn't even find the words to speak now. She scoffed. You found your voice then, "Emily…What happened last night…It was amazing, and I had wanted it to happen for a long time…It just…"

"Happened at the wrong time…" Emily nodded, "I know JJ." She rubbed the bridge of her nose, "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I was just…I'm just hurt. I like you JJ, a lot."

"I know…I'm so sorry Emily." You said, reaching out for her, "But I can't…I can't lose you, okay? You're my best friend."

Emily nodded, a small smile rising to her lips slightly, "I know JJ, you're my best friend too." She started to make her way past you and to the door, whispering in you ear as she passed, "You'll never lose me Jennifer. I will always be here."

And that's when you knew it would never be the way it was.

_"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus…But he talks like a gentleman…Like you imagined when you were young…He talks like a gentlemen, like you imagined when…When you were young…"_

Will was good to you, good to little Henry too. He let you keep your job, even at the cost of his own, he said it would be better that way anyways; Henry needed to be with his mommy. He never asked about work, he knew you never wanted to bring it home with you, you never wanted the horrors that you saw at work to infiltrate your peaceful home.

The team didn't mind him either, the holiday parties were only awkward when Emily decided to show up, but even then, she never stayed long. That didn't stop Henry from crying for his Auntie Em some days.

No one ever said anything, but they all knew. You did work with a team of profilers; it would be hard for them not to notice what had happened.

_"I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus…He doesn't look a thing like Jesus…But more than you'll ever know…"_

You knew Will wasn't the Prince Charming you had been looking for. You had found your hero long before he showed up. He wasn't what you were expecting to find, but you figured this was as good as you were going to get.

A/N: if anyone can think of a better idea for this song, i'd be honored to read it.


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Brightside

Disclaimer: i don't own Criminal Minds or The Killer's song - Mr. Brightside - just borrowing

_"I'm coming out of my cage…And I've been doing just fine…Gotta gotta be down…Because I want it all…It started out with a kiss…How did it end up like this…It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss…"_

Returning to Washington, DC, the center of politics and diplomacies was not what you always dreamed of. This was after all, where your mother got her start and all the drama in the family began. And now you're back, but this time it's worse because you've met someone who affected you more than your mother did. And you thought that was impossible.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau. The blonde FBI liaison that you worked with on a daily basis. Which only made everything worse. It was so hard to work and focus on catching a killer when her perfume was wafting its way into your senses, distracting you from getting into the criminal's mind. How could you when all you can think about is how soft her hair must be, how it looks like strands of woven gold, how good her lips would taste…

And one day, you get what you most desire – her lips upon yours. It's hurried, but passionate, tender yet rough. A part of you explodes and your true want for JJ comes pouring out of you and into that kiss. The kiss escalates, and you know it's wrong, you're at work but you can't stop yourself now and you really don't want to.

_"Now I'm falling asleep…And she's calling a cab…While he's having a smoke…And she's taking a drag…Now they're going to bed…And my stomach is sick…And it's all in my head…But she's touching his chest…Now, he takes off her dress…Now, letting me go…"_

Everything's back to normal the next day, JJ was just your coworker and she was still engaged to Will and bearing his child. You wanted to hurt yourself, cursing yourself for your stupidity. You knew you should've controlled yourself around her better.

The team smiled at you as they all headed out for the day, Hotch reminding you to go home, get some rest. JJ just stared, you watched her arm rise slightly, as if to brush yours as she left, but you gave her pause by turning away. You didn't turn back to see the hurt on her face, for then she would see the hurt on yours.

She's going home to him.

_"And I just can't look it's killing me…And taking control…Jealousy, turning saints into the sea…Swimming through sick lullabies…Choking on your alibis…But it's just the price I pay…Destiny is calling me…Open up my eager eyes…Cause I'm Mr. Brightside…"_

You instantly regret the harsh words you hissed at her when she tried to confront you in the bathroom, trying to make it better. You explained to her how it felt, at least you tried to. You felt your resolve weaken when it seemed like she would breakdown. You hated to see her cry. So you acquiesced, breaking your won heart instead of hers.

You remembering whispering as you left her there, "I'll always be here for you Jennifer." And you weren't lying either, you would always be there for your friend, but you didn't know how well you could compartmentalize your feelings for JJ now.

_"I'm coming out of my cage…And I've been doing just fine…Gotta gotta be down…Because I want it all…It started out with a kiss…How did it end up like this…It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss…"_

It had only been a few days since the kiss, but already knew your old compartmentalizing technique wouldn't work this time, not when JJ was involved. You should have realized this wouldn't be easy.

An eraser bounced of your forehead, "Ow hey! What the…?" You looked up and saw Reid and Morgan staring at you.

"You okay there Prentiss?" Morgan asked, stirring his coffee as he walked over to your desk.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." You stuttered out, shuffling the papers on your desk nervously.

"Riiiiight." He drawled, winking at you. "C'mon, talk to me. I'm here for you Prentiss, you know that right?"

You nodded, smiling up at the handsome agent. "Thanks Derek." He patted you on the shoulder as he walked back toward his desk.

"Oh me too Emily!" Reid piped up from across your desk. You smiled at his boy-like enthusiasm.

If they only knew. If you only had the courage to actually talk to someone about it. There shouldn't be anything to talk about really. It was only a kiss.

_"Now I'm falling asleep…And she's calling a cab…While he's having a smoke…And she's taking a drag…Now they're going to bed…And my stomach is sick…And it's all in my head…But she's touching his chest…Now, he takes off her dress…Now, letting me go…"_

It used to be that a glass of wine at the end of a long day would help calm your nerves, to help you sleep better. Now it was a bottle of wine just to get your mind off of things at the end of the day. Nothing helped you sleep anymore, not when you knew who JJ was sleeping with.

It made you sick to think about them. All you wanted to do was break down her door, yank him off of her and whisk her away from it all. But realistically, you knew it would never happen.

She let you go; now it was time for you to do the same.

_"Cause I just can't look it's killing me…And taking control…Jealousy, turning saints into the sea…Swimming through sick lullabies…Choking on your alibis…But it's just the price I pay…Destiny is calling me…Open up my eager eyes…Cause I'm Mr. Brightside…"_

At work the next day, you act like nothing is wrong, like nothing ever happened. You figured it out, compartmentalize, control yourself during the day; at night, you can let go and let the jealousy take over. You smile when you should, you add your two scents to the briefings, you play along with the show. You were always good at acting when you had to.

On the brightside, at least JJ wasn't completely gone from your life. You were there for her when he couldn't be, and that made a difference, you like to think. You like to think your bond with her was somehow stronger than his.

_"I never...I never...I never...I never..."_

But you still never got to tell her.

A/N: if anyone can think of a better idea for this song, i'd be honored to read it.


End file.
